PHP's date()

I wish people would stop using this crappy function. It doesn't do anything strftime can't do, but you can't put your format codes inside other strings so you always end up resorting to strftime anyway.

On top of that, if you know how to use strftime you won't have culture shock when you use literally any other language ever written.

Accuracy of exaggeration not guaranteed.

Also I don't think it's locale-aware.